Workshop Overview

The Hold Me Tight: Conversations for Connection® couples workshop is an educational program based on the theory and practice of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT).  It’s a systematic approach that aims to reduce relationship distress and help couples create trust and intimacy.  EFT views the central problem in a distressed relationship as the loss of secure emotional connection and the pattern of negative interactions that both reflect and perpetuate this loss.

“The focus of this program is emotional presence rather than performance.”

The goal of this workshop is to help couples:

  • understand the core concepts of attachment and adult romantic love
  • recognize the negative patterns that often take over your relationship
  • make sense of the strong emotions or distancing that happens when there is disconnection in the relationship
  • learn how to have more effective conversations about emotional hurts and needs
  • take steps toward repairing relational injuries
  • develop intentional ways of shaping conversations that create more safety and openness so that each partners can share their emotional experience of the relationship.

Check out the book Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love® by Dr. Sue Johnson to learn more about these 7 transforming conversations:

  1. Identify Your Negative Cycle
  2. Find The Raw Spots
  3. Revisiting a Rocky Moment
  4. Hold Me Tight®conversation
  5. Forgiving Injuries
  6. Bonding through Sex and Touch
  7. Keeping Love Alive
The role of the facilitators will be to
• create a safe, non-judgemental atmosphere where participants can learn and feel open to explore their own emotional experience of their relationship
• provide a structure for shaping new conversations with your partner
• guide you through the exercises with your partner without giving advice or trying to solve relational problems for you.
• encourage group sharing about the experience of doing the exercises, while honoring each couple’s level of comfort in opening up and sharing about their particular relationship

As facilitators, we espouse certain assumptions and values:

  • There is an inherent, universal need in all humans for a safe haven relationship where a loved one is experienced as emotionally accessible and responsive so that person can be depended upon.
  • A relationship is a series of powerful emotional feedback loops where each person shapes the other’s responses. One person cannot be “the problem”.
  • All relationship responses are understandable and reasonable. Partners are not viewed as deficient or unskilled, but as struggling to find ways to deal with painful feelings of disconnection and vulnerability in their love relationship.
  • All relational responses (even negativity or withdrawal) are strategies to manage emotional distress of some sort and often work, in some degree, in certain contexts. If partners are to understand and own their responses, there is need for acknowledging the validity of these strategies.

More information about your facilitators are on the “Upcoming Workshops” page.

FACILITATED BY

BETHANY BUTLER MYERS

Bethany has led the way in bringing Hold Me Tight workshops to couples in the Kansas City area.  Through her expertise and engaging presence, she has helped many couples find deepened intimacy and connection by providing 8 week HMT workshops or 2 day HMT intensives.

She has achieved Certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy, the most effective and prestigious modality of couples therapy.  She has also been approved by the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy out of Ottawa, Canada to provide supervision to other therapists learning EFT.  Bethany has been trained by some of the leading master therapists in the EFT world, and has helped train other therapists in this leading edge, attachment based treatment.

Bethany Butler Myers is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Kansas City, Missouri. She has been working with adults and families for more than 20 years in various capacities, helping them to improve relationships and manage difficult life circumstances. 

Find out more about Bethany at bbmtherapy.com